This convicted and challenged me in ways that can only be done by the Holy Spirit and felt urged to pass it on. It seems that God is calling us into a deeper relationship with him, calling us to be truly anchored in Jesus and calling us to trust in Him in ways we haven’t before. To me, this is a wonderful double edged sword – it’s both exciting and terrifying – to let go of the things we want to control and surrendering them to God.
I am right in the middle of this myself.
I am in a position (job) that I know is not my place, it served a purpose as a transition job – to enable me to see what is not me – and to show me that it would lead or push me into where I am meant to be. I am in a position that isn’t held down by a contract – and in that space there was uncertainty, confusion and anxiety about the future. I thought, this is surely a spiritual attack – for God does not intend us to feel uncertain, confused or anxious. I prayed into this and it was revealed to me, or more, my perception was flipped, by the grace of God, to see that there was freedom in that space – I was not bound by a contract which meant I had the capacity to decide to go or stay. I could persevere as we’re called to do as followers of Christ or I could step away and trust God that doors will be opened and I will move into the next opportunity – and that it doesn’t end there.
I was also reminded that I had a future – even though I can’t see that far ahead – all I can see is the confusion, uncertainty and fear that comes with it. But how amazing is God’s grace – His grace in providing that freedom of choice. I have known the last few weeks that I have needed to step-away and trust God. I have known that I cannot pretend to put on a happy-face in an environment that is only going to suck the joy out of me. God will sustain me and Jesus is my strength and my joy but… I know I cannot pretend. I know I cannot sacrifice my joy for the expense of experience and money. I cannot do this because my son needs me, my family need me – my friends and community need me and at my best.
As I was watching this sermon, towards the end – I had a vision of myself letting go of the rope I had been holding onto and I knew (again) what I need/needed (it hasn’t happened yet) to do… In a moment of hot transparency, I’ll admit I was/am scared to let go. I am scared that once that door closes – that’s it. I am scared of going back to where I was financially. I am scared that I won’t move forward but will go backwards. I’m scared to let go – I’m scared to fall backwards into the trust fall – because what if I am not caught and keep falling? These are legit fears. Fears that God has been working through. I was reminded of Jeremiah 29:10-14 (NLT):
“This is what the Lord says, ‘you will be in Babylon for seventy years. But then I will come and do for you all the good things I have promised, and I will bring you home again. For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord. ‘They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. I will be found by you,’ says the Lord…”
I may not be able to see it now but God has a plan and a future for me – one that is good and not filled with disaster. And the same applies to you too – where ever you are and whatever you’re going through – His plans for your future are good.
To me, this is a reminder that says, in those days of waiting and longing to be moved out of this season and into the next – pray and He will listen. Surrender all your thoughts, worries, concerns – hand them all over to your God – your heavenly Father. He will listen. Your words will not be forsaken – you will not be forsaken. If you search for him with all your heart – through prayer, the word, and worship and you will find Him. He will be found by you and you will truly know that you are not alone in what you are going through – He’s right there with you. He always has been there and always will be there for you and with you.
He has a good future planed for us – and I look forward to seeing what that is.
So, with that in mind, I am going to let go of this rope that I have been wanting to hold onto – slowly uncurl my grasp and see the rope rush through my hands led by it’s weight – I let go completely splaying my fingers and moving my arms outward and away from my body. I let go. I’m free. I’m scared but I trust you God. I can’t do this on my own or in my own strength – but I trust you. You are my strength. I pray that you too will make this declaration over your life – and pray that this settles in your heart and may God grow your strength and trust in him. In Jesus name, amen…
… And so, the message, in the video below is a reminder of what or who are we anchored to – that it is about letting go of our own ropes – and trusting God (as frightening as it may be to let go and trust) with all our heart. And when we’re firmly anchored in Jesus – we won’t be tossed every which way when the storm comes. (And even more than that – it’s about being or showing that anchor point to others when they’re in the storm too. Passing on the love of God.)
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