(I wrote this a couple of months ago, it is a chapter in my manuscript. I re-read the chapter and found it ministered straight to my heart and into my current situation. I may have laughed at the timing, and at the fact I wrote it and it still minister’s to me. Clearly, it was led by the Holy Spirit. I don’t know who needs this but I felt it needed to be shared. I don’t know what your situation is – but it may add some clarity.)
Act 3 –
(Saul of Tarsus becomes) Paul
Chapter Twenty-two
…But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop…
Saul had a life changing encounter with Jesus; one that changed the trajectory of his life. He thought he was in his purpose, but he was not in line with God’s purpose because he did not recognise Jesus.
The scriptures say, Saul was made blind by an encounter with Jesus. He was sent to Damascus and told to wait. He was blind for three days and during that time he didn’t eat or drink. What the scriptures do not say, is that he was not only physically blind, but he had been spiritually blind to Jesus all his life. He needed to become physically blind, to have his eyes spiritually and physically re-opened to the truth of Jesus.
He was blind for three days – to him, it would have felt like a lifetime. It would have felt like a lifetime of sitting in darkness. He would have felt so vulnerable like as though he’d been stripped bare and was wondering through the wilderness naked – not being able to see anything that lurked in the darkness waiting to take him. His senses would have been heightened – heightened sense of fear, hypervigilant hearing and sensitive to touch and sound. He would have been scared and thinking – this is it – this is it – life, as I know it, is over for me.
What he didn’t know – the thing that he was blind to, was that Jesus had plans for him. It is written in The Passion Translation, that the Lord appears to Ananias in a vision. He gives him exact instructions, to go to this street called Abundance and find a man, Saul of Tarsus at Judah’s house. He continued to say, while he (Saul) was in prayer, he had a supernatural vision of Ananias laying hands on him and restoring his sight. This alone, would have been an incredible experience for Saul, going from dark formless vision to suddenly being able to see – with supernatural vision. It wasn’t just a vision but it was supernatural. It had became supernatural because he was without sight. He could suddenly see the room that he was in, the exact location that he was sitting, he could see the floor beneath him and the textures in the floor. He could see his nose in front of his face again, sending him cross-eyed. He could see his hands in front of him, the detail in his nails; the almost invisible lines of nail fibres and he silently rejoiced that he could see the dirt under his nails. It became supernatural because he could see everything in great detail. He wasn’t just given a supernatural vision; he was given foresight. Saul was given the ability to see that this was in fact not it, it was not over, and he was going to be healed. He was given foresight that he was going to be healed. That also made it a supernatural experience for him because he was given foresight into his future and it left no room to doubt.
However, Jesus did not reveal everything to him straight away. He knew that Saul was only capable of receiving bits at a time. He wasn’t ready to be shown all that He had planned – because if he had, he most likely would have freaked out and said – nope – I’m not doing that, I can’t do that. In our own weaknesses, we will devalue ourselves and say we can’t do something. When in fact, we can do the task we’re presented with. Jesus knows our capabilities more than we do and he will provide direct instructions on where to go and who to contact, what to say et cetera.
Jesus gave Ananias direct instructions, Ananias protested. In a way, he said this but not, (it would have been his subtext;) his thoughts behind his actual words – but he’s Saul of Tarus – he’s a man to fear – he’s dangerous and he’ll surely persecute me too. Jesus says, simply –
Arise and go! (Subtext: I won’t hear any more of it. I have plans.) I have chosen this man to be my special messenger. He will be brought before kings, before many nations, and before the Jewish people to give them the revelation of who I am. And I will show him how much he is destined to suffer because of his passion for me. (TPT Acts 15:16)
Arise and go – He only needed to say it once – that is how much authority Jesus has and Ananias was obedient although he was fearful of what might become of him. Jesus didn’t say it, but He knew he would be ok and kept safe. Jesus knew Saul was physically blind and vulnerable like a new baby, therefore he would be more fearful of Ananias than he was of Saul. So, Jesus knew he would be kept safe.
Arise and go – Jesus may say this to us and like Ananias we may be filled with fear and have the echo of the serpent in our ears – did God really say that? I know, I did when I first started writing this book. I didn’t know what kind of content was going to be in it, all I knew was that there were three acts Leah, Saul and Paul. I knew it meant delving into my past, but I didn’t know what that included until I was told to look into old journal entries. I was in fact filled with fear – I thought – I don’t want my close friends and family to be all up in my business – I don’t want them to know I smoked and drank and was promiscuous at times. A thought intercepted those thoughts –
If that is the only thing that is going to stop, you from writing this… then that’s selfish… it’s a small thing because it isn’t about you anymore – they need to know these things for context because it is what you have been brought out of. And how many other people are there in the world that this is going to relate to and speak to? It’s not about you anymore. It needs to be written. It will be written. Arise and go.
I was filled with fear, but I have been given all the instructions and words to include in this book as I write. So, I know, I am not doing this out of my own will. If I am honest, most of the content within these pages, I had no intention on discussing – so I know I am not in this – not as me – it is led by the spirit – the spirit of truth.
So, I’m saying I understand Ananias’ fear in going on this mission initiated by Jesus. But can see that there is no need for fear, for I will be protected. Jesus has a plan and a part of that plan is being his messenger to spread His word and truth.
Now, before I continue, I want to establish that because I am aware that He has chosen me to be a messenger; His messenger. It does not mean that I am better or higher than anyone else. If you believe in Jesus, we all have the capacity to be his messenger and to represent Him – it’s not an exclusive club or anything – if anything it aims to be inclusive. He’ll use you as a shepherd to seek out and reach the dear sheep that have gone astray – the ones that have wandered into their own path or down the path of darkness.
If you were a drug addict, He’ll use it.
If you were a convicted criminal seeking the root of all evil – money, He’ll use it.
If you experienced discrimination for your race, colour, gender or sexual orientation – He’ll use it.
If you wanted to be an actor/writer and fought to be seen and loved and became a single parent – He’ll use it.
Jesus does not discriminate, the world will but He will not. He will use whatever your story is to reach the people it needs to reach, to change the lives, hearts and thinking of those who need it most. It is not an exclusive thing, it is an all-inclusive thing because Jesus does not discriminate. The world may disqualify you – you may be too skilled for a job or under-qualified and they cannot see your worth and what you have to offer because you potentially do not tick a set of boxes. But, Jesus qualifies you – as you are, in all your glorious brokenness and imperfection. He says, your beautiful and I know how I am going to turn this around… and He will turn it around, you just need to believe and have faith… and the story that you’ll be given, it will point back to the glory and goodness of our God.
So, my dears – I say, if Jesus has given you a mission – arise and go. Do not fear the road ahead because you will be protected. If you have not been given a clear mission, like Saul, I say wait – stand firm in where you are and wait for further instructions. Pray and maybe you will be given a vision; foresight on what is about to happen or where you need to go. We don’t need to take things into our own hands all the time, as tempting as that may be. We don’t need to take things into our own hands because it is not happening in our time and we need that thing immediately. Be still, stand firm and trust with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding… If you’ve been given a mission – arise and go. If not – wait until you have been given that command.
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Dear Reader, I feel this time is about stepping into God’s purpose and the plans he has assigned to our lives. It may be that he has revealed elements of His plan to you in the past, and now, it is either a time for action or it is a time to wait. For each person, it won’t be the same. As for me, I know it is time to arise and go.
Father, thank you for this word and reminder. Thank you for your grace and the knowledge that rests in our hearts – that you are in control and you have a plan for our lives. We pray that our eyes may be opened to you; that we may recieve foresight into your plans – enough to know – this is not our lot – that there is more to our lives – whatever situations we may find ourselves in now – this is not where our story ends. You are our joy, you are our light when our situations look dark – you are the one that has mapped out our path and lives. We love you and thank you for all that we have. We know and acknowledge that everything that is good and lovely comes from you. In Jesus’ mighty name we pray, amen.
Amen.
Until next time, God willing, w.a.r on with praise and prayer. Xx
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Author: Elizabeth New
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